Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Philosophy of Eating


As a consequence of unemployment, I've had to make a few adjustments in life in order to keep my bank balance a feint shade of black. In what may be the first of a new series, here is one of those adjustments:

My eating habits have had to be completely reworked. I used to eat mostly for pleasure; a biscuit here, a chocolate bar there, a yogurt somewhere else. I liked to keep things ticking over, because when I get hungry I can be nothing short a huge tool.

Such perpetuity of consumption costs money, however. Money that I simply can't afford to spend. My philosophy of eating had to change. The economics demanded it. Here, then, is my cost-saver solution to the problem.

Instead of keeping things ticking over, I now do the exact opposite. I starve myself until I pass out from the hunger, and when I (hopefully) wake up again, I eat something. Those of you interested in my financial situation will be pleased to know that I've only eaten three meals in the last two weeks at a combined cost of 7 Euro. Those of you worried about my health, rest assured that I didn't cook the meals myself.

God bless you Marks and Spencer.

4 comments:

  1. I just occurred to me I'm jobless and bored in NY, you're bored, jobless and starving it seems in Dublin. Perhaps we should compare and contrast. Today I read the Financial Times and ate an apple. You?

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  2. It's freezing here at night, but we have no heat in our flat. Last night I decided to wheel our portable radiator into my bedroom, and while I went to brush my teeth I left my pajamas and my pillow on top of it. Putting on clothes and resting my head on a pillow has never felt so good.

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  3. im sure you are aware that you will cause some worry among the 'rents with this post.

    mam is twisting and turning in bed and dad has been reduced to trying to sleep on the couch with his bible..

    oh wait.....

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  4. Ha. I'd be lying if I said that wasn't one of my main intentions. They've never been quick on the uptake when it comes to sarcasm, have they?

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