Saturday, August 2, 2008

Home Alone...



But not really. Paul has been staying here with me, so we've got that whole Chandler and Joey thing going on - except for the funny jokes and the endless string of women. So in other words, we're nothing like Chandler and Joey, apart from the fact that we're two guys living together. We do watch a lot of 'Friends' though. That counts, right?

'So how is Dec surviving?', you may or may not be wondering. Well, so far so good. I've been holding fort at my sisters house for a week now, and apart from a few empty coke bottles strewn about the place willy-nilly, things are pretty much as they were before my arrival.

As for feeding myself, I bought 3 big boxes of cereal (only 1 of which can be considered a kids cereal, so there) which means I've got breakfast covered for the next few weeks. I've never been a big lunch eater, so I just have a yoghurt, some bread, and maybe a piece of fruit to get me through 'til dinner.

Dinner has been a resounding success so far - or at least that's what I think anyway. Why do I think that? Well for one, I haven't had pizza every day. Please believe me when I say that this has not always been the case during previous short-term stints of independence. I'm embarassed to admit it, but there have been times when I've had pizza maybe 5 days out of 7, just because. However, Paul and I have only had pizza twice out of 8 meals. That's a pizza to meals ratio I feel I can be proud of.

The other meals have included fajita's, burgers, chicken and pasta, and of course my speciality - spaghetti bolognase. All in all, I'm more than happy with the way dinner has gone, and I do feel I've learned quite a bit in that department. This is all thanks in no small part to Paul of course. Being a former buthcer, he knows his way around meat in a way that I can only dream about. In short, he has opened my eyes to a few things around the kitchen, and more importantly, he has opened my heart to a fresh passion for cooking...(that last part was a joke).

In terms of the negatives I've encountered, there aren't actually that many. There is one overwhelming negative however, namely that the Wilbur's bathroom is (for want of a better description) really, really crap.

It has to be one of the worst house bathroom's I've ever gone about my business in. For starters, the cold water tap just doesn't work. This hasn't had a major impact on bathroom life, since the hot water tap actually dispenses cold water, but the very fact that there is a completely useless tap just bugs me.

Also, there was no proper toothpaste when I arrived, so I've been using this kids toothpaste for the entire week. Now of course you could argue that that's my fault for not buying toothpaste, but you have to understand that the kids toothpaste tastes really nice! Therefore, I'm not exactly pushed to go out and buy proper toothpaste, since I've come to realise how boring and tasteless it is.

And then there's the toilet itself. I won't get too descriptive here, but suffice to say that when you flush it, it doesn't always get rid of, er, everything. In fact yesterday was the first time in a week that we didn't have morsels of so-and-so floating around, and what a joyous day it was indeed. Thankfully we didn't have any visitors use the bathroom this past week, but what if they did? To the untrained eye, it looks as if Paul and I just don't bother flushing after we drop a deuce, and that's just not true! It just takes so long to actually re-flush the damn thing, so it's not worth your while hanging around and waiting for the tank to refill. You just figure you'll get it next time you go to the bathroom, but you never do.

And finally, the shower. There's so much wrong with this shower that the only positive thing I can say about it is that it is in fact water that comes out of the nozzle...I think. However, the water comes out so slowly that you're almost waiting for the next drop to hit you. Basically, you're not so much showered as you are tickled. And not the good kind of tickled - the horrible, annoying kind. After a couple of showers (yes, I've had more than one shower this week) I did finally worked out the desirable temperature setting, but it doesn't really mean much in the grand scheme of things.

These bathoom-related grievances aside however, things are going well chez Wilburs, and they're about to get better now that there's a 'Laguna Beach' marathon showing on MTV. Just kidding...or am I?

4 comments:

  1. thank you for making me homesick..or bathroom sick..or whatever..i could get offended if wasnt laughing at your accuracy and pain....it SUCKS.....if yourself and paul want to part with any of your hard earned single mans cash and completely renovate our DEAD bathroom...be our guest.......start with the whole plumbing issue and work back towards ridding it of the most depressing coloured bathroom suite the world has ever seen.....whoever thought...grey...now there's a good colour for a bathroom....insane...

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  2. I'm just surprised I never noticed any of this before. Now I know why Owen just opens your back door and pees out in the yard. It's actually a more comfortable, accomodating place to do so.

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