Monday, July 28, 2008

Bent Toddley


There have been countless writings about the Lakeland revival since God (read: Todd Bentley) started working there a few months ago. So many in fact that I wasn't going to bother adding to the mix. But then what fun would that be?

However, I'm not going to go into all the theological aspects of it. For one, there's hardly any theology to the whole thing in the first place, so trying to discuss it would be like trying to talk about football based on a basketball game (that analogy doesn't make any sense, does it? Meh, I tried). And what's more, I'm no theology expert to begin with, so for that kind of reasoning it's best that you go to a more reliable source than this humble blog of mine.

What I do want to do is take a youtube clip I've just watched and give my two cents.

Just so you know, I didn't type 'Wacky Todd Bentley rubbish heresy fake' into the youtube search engine in order to find the most contraversial clip out there (although remind me to do that later). I simply searched 'Todd Bentley' and this clip was one of the results. And what's more, this clip appears to have been posted by someone who has some sort of respect for the work that is going on in Lakeland (I'm saying this because of the title and the description). All in all, I think this is a fairly neutral clip to examine, and from all the bits I've seen on God TV etc it's a reasonably accurate depiction of what's happening in Florida (why is it always Florida?).

Unfortunately, the worship leader who looks like John Travolta isn't in it, but you can't have everything I guess. Although you can put a picture of him up on your blog for poops and giggles.



Ahhh, that's better. Anyway, here's a link for the clip:

Wacky Todd Bentley Rubbish Fake Heresy

And so it begins. "How do you know you're healed?" Bentley asks the woman on stage. "I'm not sure 100%, but..." is the response. I bet he gets that answer a lot, does Todd. However, Bentley recovers quickly from this little setback and swiftly drops the woman to the floor, thus rendering her incapable of saying anything further that might expose this 'miracle' as a hoax. Thinking on your feet, Todd. I like that. Thankfully, he didn't get her to the floor by kneeing her in the stomach as he's been 'called' to do on special occassions, so phew for that.

(If you've watched the clip, isn't that noise the woman makes as she falls to the floor so funny!? Just watch it again. I've watched it like 7 times and it still cracks me up.)

We're then informed that someone is been healed of broken eye disease. Well, not quite. Bentley 'almost' wants to call it a broken eye, which it isn't at all. What he's actually describing is the socket behind the eye being fixed and what have you. And even more specific, it's the socket around the 'right eye'. I bet there was one guy in the crowd that had the exact same problem around his left eye who was just like 'Ah crap!', and stormed out in a huff.

Bentley wants this person to step forth, and then goes on to say that he 'just had one of those visions'. The kind of vision he's describing is where he sees one particular person get healed. However, two people actually come up on stage, I'm assuming to claim that their eye is no longer broken, or something.

I wonder how Todd explains the inaccuracy of this vision, since, you know, his vision was for one specific person? Maybe it was a special-offer vision, like 'have a vision of one person healed, and get another person healed absolutely free'.

Or maybe, just maybe, one of these people is faking it. I say a Solomon-like test is in order here. What Todd Bentley should do is knee them both in their left eye, and whichever one can still see out of their right eye is the true miracle receiver. Makes sense, doesn't it? Hopefully Todd will then get 'one of those visions' where he sees people with left eye problems being healed, and things will be as you were before the test was carried out, with no harm done.

No such test is carried out of course, so what we have is two people claiming to be healed, one of whom has a patch over her left eye [?]. More on that later.

But first, Todd interviews possibly the dumbest man alive. Think guest on the Jerry Springer Show and you're in the right ballpark. Todd asks him who he is, and he doesn't actually appear to know. Maybe I'm wrong, but a damaged eye appears to be the least of this man's concerns.

Todd asks him if he 'broke his eye'. Too funny, but it gets even better. Todd continues by asking him if he's blind or if there's nerve damage, or if there's anything wrong with his eye at all. First off, blind? Blind!? Didn't Todd already say that this is not a case of a broken eye, and that his vision was for that of socket repair? Yes, he did. I'm no medical practitioner, but I'm fairly confident that blindness is as a result of damaged eyes, therefore that's not the issue at hand. Maybe that's why Todd calls these visions 'open visions'. As in they're open to whatever interpretation fits the situation at hand.

Of course maybe Todd asks all his guests...er, I mean receivers of miracles, if they're blind, regardless of the vision he received. It could be an oral disclaimer of some form, so that if God calls Todd to kick someone in the face, then at least he's made himself aware of that persons current eye-sight status, lest he be duped by an already-blind person and sued for millions. Blind people, eh? You just can't trust them. There's a lesson here kids - it's always good to cross your t's and dot your, um, lower case j's (Oh Wayne's World II, how I love you).

Anyway, this mans socket got damaged when 'a car hit [him] on a bicycle'. I bet it was a parked car, wasn't it? We don't actually get to see his right eye, which makes me a little suspicious. Also, the lady with the patch on her (left) eye is smiling the whole time, which leads me to believe that his face isn't horribly disfigured or anything. Either that, or she's incredibly insensitive. Or maybe she actually is blind, in which case watch out Todd. This one could be up to something, so make sure you ask her the question.

Todd then says that a creative miracle is about to happen, and 'Boom!', Bentley sends him to the floor. Didn't Todd say that the miracle has already happened during that vision speech of his? Shouldn't this guy already be healed? Wasn't he called up to the stage to proclaim the miracle that Todd had just witnessed in one of these 'open visions' of his? Maybe it's like a visualisation type thing, where Todd first sees the miracle, and then a few minutes later it happens. Hey, I'm just brainstorming here.

Of course a cynic might say that Todd just makes these visions up in his head, some idiot from the crowd responds/is dragged to the stage by Todd's henchmen, and then a whole bunch of hokey-pokey madness ensues. I mean these cynics probably want 'medical proof' of the miracles too. Why can't they just have faith and believe that everything being done is authentic? Why this need to 'test the spirits'? I mean where did they even get that idea? Not from any source Todd Bentley knows about, that's for sure.

The woman with the patch over her (left) eye is next in the firing line, as Todd Bentley points out to her 'You've still got the patch on'. It's keen insights like this that give merit to all that Todd Bentley is doing.

The woman goes on to say that 'I had a brain tumor, it was right behind my eye...' but before she can actually flesh out her story and more than likely contradict Todd's open vision, he interrupts, saying 'The Lord is gonna do a miracle right now' and gentley guides her to the floor (not pushes...gentley guides [?]), which apparently is the only way in which a miracle can take place.

"My job is to see, my job is to pray, and then God does the rest." And how much do you get paid for this job, Todd? Just curious. OK I'm being too cynical. Open mind, Dec. Open mind.

"Sometimes the miracles are instant, but like that woman who came out of the wheelchair, sometimes it takes two/three days." That sounds suspiciously like another oral disclaimer, with Todd basically saying that if you're not healed at this meeting then be patient and give it a couple of days, by which time you'll hopefully be far away from Lakeland and unable to complain to anyone about not receiving any healing.

A woman who was prayed for earlier then begins to leave the stage, but is stopped in her tracks by Todd, who kindly says 'Come here, you with the growth' (as she's affectionately called by friends and loved ones). I really hope this isn't how Todd addresses all his flock - by their respective sicknesses. "Hey you with the brain tumor, get over here." "Where do you think you're going, you with the mangled legs?" "See ya later, syphilis." Insensitive much?

Anyway, Todd asks this lady if she can feel anything. He asks this while tickling her throat, so I'm guessing she can, Todd. He stops tickling her and asks "can you feel any sensation?" We get a pause for about 7 seconds and the woman lets out a quiet "Ummm...no." Brilliant!

Todd then uses the Benny Hinn-approved method of putting words in peoples mouth by 'asking' "Did you feel a burning on the floor, or what were you doing on the floor?" The woman says that she did feel burning [Glory Hallelujah!], but only in her arms and hands (presumably the growth is on her throat).

Todd then ushers her to the floor for a second helping, saying 'That growth will be gone. Check it in the mirror." Aha. So Todd does encourage the verification of his miracles. And not only that, he's also urging people to use the most rigorous, fool-proof device of them all - a mirror. Basically, if you don't see it, then you're healed.

- "But Todd, how do you know I was healed?"

(Todd holds up a mirror to the persons face)

- "Well, can you see your lung cancer?"

- "Um, no, but.."

- "But what!? You've been healed!"

OK so I'm blowing things way out of proportion here. I just thought the 'check it in the mirror' line was hilarious.

Next we have a man whom Todd 'called out by word of knowledge the other day', or so says David Tate, one of Todd's henchmen. Tate says that this man has been healed of shoulder problems, and also Todd's word of knowledge about financial blessing has come to pass, because 'God is prospering him'. How do we know that his latest paycheck hasn't just gone through? What is this prosperity that you speak of, Mr Tate?

Todd wonders how he managed to call this guy out, and the guy just says that Todd mentioned his blue shirt (which he's wearing again today [?]). He describes Todd's vision for him, where an angel came and touched his shoulders, and then a ball of fire came out of heaven and gave him some sort of burning sensation. (I would have payed serious money for John Travolta look-a-like to start singing 'Goodness gracious, great balls of fire!" right then. Serious money.)

Anyway, ridiculous story short, this man's shoulders appear to be functioning normally, although all we have to go on is the fact that he can move them around for about 5 seconds. Who's to say he couldn't have done that a couple of days ago? I say get the mirror out. It's the only sure way to know what's what.

Busted shoulder guy continues talking about his problems, but Todd just starts shaking his head and says that he can still feel that fireball. This whole thing is just hilarious to watch, because it's perfectly obvious that Bentley isn't listening to a word that this man is saying, but busted shoulder guy has no idea and just stays talking.

Todd then rushes over to him, places his hands on the guys stomach and goes 'Bam!'. Finally the guy stops talking, but he was too busy talking to realise that this is the moment in which he's supposed to fall on the ground. Todd is a persistent man though, so he's not giving up just yet.

He goes in for a second bam now that the guy is aware of what's going on, but this doesn't get him to the floor either. Um, what's going on here Todd? Why isn't this working?

Not to worry. Todd starts on this big rant about, you guessed it, fireballs, angels, visions etc etc. Not Jesus though, because on the spiritual food chain, apparently fireballs trump Jesus. Who knew?

The rant finishes with the sentence "God's gonna mess up your theological box." God, Todd - who knows? The point is, your theology is going to be totally screwed up, and it may take years to recover from it. Eventually the man falls to the floor, presumably dazed from all the crap he just heard. Todd's work here is done. Neeeext.

"Somebody broke the bones on the top of their right foot..."

I bet there's this guy who had that exact same problem with his left foot who just...

And that's how this little clip ends. We don't get to see what happens next, but I'm presuming about 3 people came up on stage, one of whom had a big cast on their left leg. They all end up on the floor, and they each receive one of those miracles that takes two or three days to kick in.

In closing, I know I've been really, REALLY harsh with this piece. I just have so little time for things like this. I believe in miracles, absolutely. But they're signs, as well as being initial manifestations of God's kingdom. They're not the be all and end all. Here's a verse from John's gospel just to confirm as much:

Now Jesus did many other signs in the presence of the disciples, which are not written in this book; but these are written so that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name.

A sign always points to something. I mean that's the very definition of a sign. It appears to me that Todd Bentley's ministry is all about miracles (the validity of which I feel I'm right to question), and very little of it has to do with people coming to a saving faith in Christ Jesus, and having life in His name.

A lot of people are sitting on the fence with regards this movement. However, I'm never really one for fence sitting, so I'm more than happy to say that I don't think it's a good thing whatsoever. I'm willing for God to open my eyes if I'm wrong, but right now I firmly believe that this is doing so much more damage than good for the kingdom of God.

Can any good come out of it? Yes, of course. I'm sure there's a very tiny amount of good coming out of Benny Hinn's wild crusades too, but that doesn't make them right.

There is a passage in Philippians where Paul talks about people preaching from wrong motives etc, but that he still rejoices because Christ is being preached regardless.

However, I would assume this to mean that there were no strong doctrinal errors being taught. The same cannot be said for ministries such as Bentley's and others of similar ilk. I may be wrong, but I can imagine Paul having a very Galatian-esque letter lined up for Todd Bentley and co.

Are these guys preaching Christ in all His fullness? It doesn't look like it, and I see that as great cause for concern. To anyone reading this who isn't a Christian, Todd Bentley is not what Christianity is all about. Check the post below this one for some proper teaching, and avoid Todd Bentley.

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